How to help your child cope with trauma:
The key is restoring a sense of safety and offering emotional support
There are a number of things parents can do for their children.
1. They need to know that they are safe and that they are being looked after by trustworthy people who are in control. In all things, parents are important role models and so your reactions to events will affect how your children deal with those same events. Its okay to let children know that you are sad or hurt, but, wherever possible try to let your children see you in control so that they can feel your sense of security and resolve to protect them.
2. Try to spend time with your children, and provide them with plenty of affection through cuddles and hugs. Let children be more dependent on you for a while.
3. Talk to your children. Listen closely to your children’s concerns and try to think about whether they are looking for factual information about the event, or if the questions are expressing anxiety about what have happened, or anxiety about what could happen in the future. They may be wandering if this is going to happen to my mummy or daddy. These children should be reassured with information about the steps that adults in their lives are taking to keep them safe and the steps parents are taking to keep themselves safe. Answer questions truthfully, but pitched at a level that they can understand.
4. Be aware of how you talk around children. If they are at an age where they aren’t able to join in on the conversation then it’s a good idea to not let children overhear adult conversations about worrying things.
5. Monitor exposure to the media – for very young children, they may not understand that it is re-runs and they can have a sense that the event is again happening.
6. Most importantly parents need to look after themselves so that they are better able to respond to the needs of their children.
Time to recover
Reactions and responses to trauma will gradually reduce over time with the support of their families. Children can be especially resilient if supported.
However, if after 4 to 6 weeks, you or someone you know are still having difficulties it may indicate a need for a referral to a mental health professional that can assist with overcoming thoughts, feelings, and behaviours associated with what has happened.
